I meet someone and I want to move on. Create my own life, not to be bound to others anymore.

Aku plan nak tutup blog ni. Xdak makna dah aku post kat blog ni.  

So long stalkers!!!!! 

Its like I'm falling in love again!!! 

Terpaksa sibukkan diri semata2 untuk lupakan masalah yg tengah aku alami sekarang. Soooo pathetic!! Anyway, I can distract most of my free time doing something productive rather than thinking of my never-ended-problems. Sigh.

Xpa. Pelan2 aku buka hati untuk accept benda ni. I can do it. But it will take time. Bersabarlah wahai hati. =(

Am I sleepwalking at night?? Arghh!! Xkn kot. Tapi aku sendiri pon x pasti gak. Sebab time tu macam sedar x sedar ja. Takut la. Takut jadi lagi macam dulu. Dhla budak2 ni duk cita dengar bunyi baby nangis la. Adehh. Nak wat cmna ni? As long as nothing bad happen, I assume it is okay. Huhu. Tuhan tolong saya. T_T

I never complain on the way you treated me. I just swallow it all. Because I know that will bring nothing if i drag it to you. 

Lately I've been way too emotional. But I kept it with myself, not showing it to you. God, the way you speak to me, I can feel that you are not like me that much. I don't know where I went wrong this time. 

I stopped bothering you. Keep your private life away from my acknowledge. I changed myself. For the sake of you. What's more do you want?

If you keep on treating me like this I'm afraid that I have to go on with my plan. I stick to that house just because of you. You are the only reason for me to stay. If you keep on insisting and denying my existence in that house, then its time for me to move out from your life.

Like I said, I don't want us to be a couple. I don't need your love. All I'm asking is to treat me like others. Don't discriminate me. Please. I hold this up for almost like half of my life. Just make sure I'm not giving up yet because once I give up, I won't turn back. 

I love you, as a friend. So please, appreciate it. At least shows some respect on me. I am no human if you treat me like this. I try my best here to keep our friendship lasting longer. Now its up to you whether you want it lasting or not.   

.::outing- enjoy::.

Im having so much fun with dea yesterday! Watching movie, a game of bowling and one thing that never cross my mind for me to play, snooker. It was superb! I wish that there will be just the three of us so that dea can concentrate and talk more with me. But thats okay. Im enjoyed. Dea happy. Im so grateful. What else you want more? I have everything right now except his heart. Never mind. I dont want him to love me either. I just want him to treat me nicely. Thats it. And one thing that never change; my love on you. I love you, dea.

I feel alone. Every night before i went to sleep, i felt so lonely. Before this, i have him laid beside of me. But i, myself ruined it. Now this is my payback. I cant fix it back. Please, i need you damn right now. Just stay and accompany me. I swear to God i wont do anything anymore. Please, i beg you.... I need you, my friend...

Mlm td ingat nk ajak dia dinner sbb nk celebrate dia abeh konvo. Nak ajak g mkn sushi kat bandor. Tapi dia mesti nk lepak dgn member dia kan. Biar jela. Aku pon nk slow down sikit lepas ni. Aku takot kalo aku over sgt nnti dia anggap aku ni annoying pulak.

Damn i want to celebrate it with you. Your birthday. Your graduation day. But im not that special to you. N you never know what i've been through this past few weeks. Im always want to tell you. But im not that important for you anymore.

For me, you always be the one in everything. The one that i remember most. The one that i always think of. The one that i give almost everything. But i dont need your love. I just need you to realize that im exist and always be there for you.

Right now i just want you to be happy. N i will try my very best to make sure you are happy all the time. As long as you happy, it is enough for me.

Aku planning nk ajak dia g pesta buku bigbadwolf kat KL bln 12 nnti. Ingat lg tahun lepas g ngan dia. X tahu lg dia still nk g ke x. Hopefully dia ikot skali la.

Happy Convocation Day! Im really proud of you AR! Im on my way to be like you. You are my inspiration!

.::his-birthday::.

For the past 5 years, I've been kept doing the same thing on this day every year. I never missed on wishing him (you-know-who) happy birthday. And it always came to my mind how I gonna celebrate it. Will it be a surprise? Or will it be just a straight forward celebration? I always plan something special for him on his special day. But unfortunately he will not be around because he already went home. I decided to surprise him after he get back from this holiday. Plus with his upcoming convocation, I will try my best to make him feel pleased and special. Of course he has his own special one to celebrate with. But I want to be the one who celebrate his special moment with him only. Hopefully he will realise that I am the one who always be there for him no matter what is happening. I just want him to feel special. Thats it. Not more than that.   

''Don't chase people. Be yourself. Do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay''. -Will Smith

Aku letih. Sangat letih. Ntah sampai bila aku nk btahan. Mungkin sudah tiba masa utk aku give up. Mungkin ini yg tbaik.

Petang tadi sakit tu datang balik. Duk tengah best main, tiba2 rasa sakit. Tapi xla seterok sakit yg 1st dulu. Doktor cakap aritu dah oke. Tapi still kena bjaga2. Nasib ada ubat. Boleh la nak tahan sakit sikit. Risau la. Mintak2 la xda apa2. T_T 

.::after-a-long-silence::.

Waaaaa!! Lamanya blog ni menyepi! Huhu. Terasa nak start blogging balik pulak. Rindu sangat2 nak post kat blog ni.

Banyak sangat benda nak update dan nak cita tapi maybe untuk next punya post kot. Lagipun tgh busy sikit skrg nih.

Neway, happy that my blog is still exist! Lets blogging!!